The amount of blankness on this page is more daunting than letting go of your mom's hand as you walk toward your grade 1 classroom, on the first day of school. I never pegged myself for the girl who would be sitting in, come the evening, writing articles and essays that were never due or that would never see THE red pen.
If I told my angsty, sixteen-year-old self what I'm doing now (or at least trying to do)... She would just adjust her side fringe, put her Samsung U700 back in her skort pocket and tell me that I'm being ridiculous.
-Better blog idea: Why were you wearing a skort?
-HAHAHA... Subscribe and I'll tell you *wink wink nudge nudge*
Anyway, I digress. I graduated High School and almost immediately got signed to a reputable agency only for them to tell me two weeks later that they were not prepared to represent someone with a lisp.
-What genius puts the letter 's' in LISP (you can probably hear the "thhhh" sound through your screen)
-GOODNESS STAY ON TRACK CASSIDY!
I threw myself into hospitality and resigned myself to the idea that dreams were merely that... Dreams. Months go by and I get a phone call, from the agency that did not accept the sound the air made as it passed through the small gaps between my teeth, saying that an international production company was interested in auditioning me for a role.
I said yes. To the agent. To the audition. To the dream.
I got the role! Things looked up and I believed, again, that dreams really do come true... That was until disputes between production companies and producers lead us all to realise that the dream was dead and the time spent was nothing more than an exhausting 'holiday'.
*Insert a teenager from a Hollywood drama sitting in a car watching the rainfall, as they get driven through the Winter streets*
I decided to not feel sorry for myself or eat the tear-soaked McDonald's chips and enrol into an acting university. It was hard work but I graduated.
The film season, to follow my graduation was quiet. The quiet so silent it was deafening. I grew deaf to the sounds of my own cheers and war-cries that told me, "You can! You will!" So I got a job. A job that required me to lose any remaining sight of my dream... I was not allowed to attend auditions any more #MyBreadAndButter (not that they didn't want me to, just that it would interfere with doing my job).
However, through the kind words of my colleagues, I came to realise that my dream wasn't gone, just on hold... And on hold again, and again after that. The problem is when you put your dreams on hold all the time your muscle memory turns to fat *wait for it* insecurities.
So I took a leap and quit my job, but I think the no-lisp agency also wanted to take a leap because they quit me (no longer wanted to represent me).
So I did what any girl would do after a breakup... I cut my hair short... And decided to immigrate. #PlotTwist Things got worse.
I came back home, months later, a broken woman with no more money to spend and no more hair to cut. #SoIGrewItAgain I got another job, found another agent to represent me and did more courses in film. I figured, let's just work towards a foot in the door to the 'Room of Dreams'.
I took another season off, but with a goal in mind, to sharpen my acting tool.
So my NEW agent called me saying that an international production company was interested in auditioning me for a role.
I said yes. To the agent. To the audition. To the dream.
I got the role! The role was a walk-on role but a win is a win by an inch or a mile.
I won!
I dream hard. I dream big!
My journey is a difficult one, but nothing worthwhile is easy. So during this off-season, quiet-time, instead of putting my drive in 'Park' I decided to change to Sports mode and, in turn, have found a love of blogging and blogging.
Who knows what's next?
What's your journey been like? I'd love to hear about it and be your
HYPE-MAN! Be sure to comment or drop me a direct message!
Commentaires